You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
