love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
