i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
