I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
