The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
