everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
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By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
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We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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