Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
