my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
