I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
