She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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