? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
