We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
