This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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