...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize
