we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
