we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
