shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
