Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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