I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
