he was CRYING into my vagina
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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