What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
