I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
