I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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