the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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