porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think my mom watched the whole time
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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