If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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