super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
