Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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