He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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