I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
