its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
