i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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