im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
