Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
