its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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