I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
