Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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