i just google imaged poop.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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