Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
