Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
