I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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