Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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