glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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