i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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