i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
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If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
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Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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