WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
