She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
