and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
