Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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