I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
