How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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