I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
