I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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