I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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