I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The adults are the big ones right?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
