Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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